The Hamster Cage

In a cluttered den a greying, full-bearded and rather portly Phil is working out equations on a blackboard, when he is startled by a noise behind him. He turns to discover a young girl dressed in a kilt and tie with a drink in her hand. She blushes and he looks down at his completely naked body. "I do my best thinking in the nude," he offers.

Phil has just been awarded the Nobel prize for Physics and his family has come to celebrate. The young girl, Candy, is the bride-to-be of Phil's brother, Stanley. She is working on her MFA in Creative Writing and as such is constantly scribbling in her notebook, scraping inspiration from "real life."

Stanley has brought presents for each member of the family, which he believes will force them to both confront and overcome the demons they've buried in their past -- and thus provide his darling fiance with grist for the mill. As Jenn and Paul busy themselves with preparations for dinner, Stanley makes his way to Lucy's bedroom. Discovering that she is sitting on the toilet he forces his way into the cramped washroom, insisting that she must open her present immediately.

Amid Lucy's cries of protest, he reveals that he has brought her a pair of child's panties. An impassioned intellectualization of why he molested her as a child follows. "Historically the relationship of young girl and an older man was totally normal. Therefore, the girl never felt guilt, was never disturbed," he insists. "It was natural." This proves too much for Lucy, who launches herself at her uncle with plunger in hand. He falls backwards into the tub receiving a fatal blow to the back of the head.

While the rest of the family organizes itself on the patio for an afternoon of drinks and celebration, Lucy enlists the help of her always obliging, sycophantic brother, Paul, to help transfer the body out to the pet cemetery in the woods. A fresh grave is dug, Stanley's body is disposed of, and they return to the patio with none the wiser.

While Paul and Lucy weave an elaborate story to explain Stanley's disappearance, Jenn reveals to Candy that her career as a ballet dancer was cut short by Phil, who in a fit of jealousy broke both her legs by intentionally running her over with the family car. Candy dutifully takes notes, thrilled at her good fortune in stumbling upon such great writing material for her thesis.

As the family joins together under a starry night for dinner, Paul launches into the story triggered by the gun he has just unwrapped, only to be interrupted by a strange sound coming from the darkness. Unfortunately for Paul and Lucy, Stanley was not buried as deeply as the family's demons. Stanley stumbles out of the darkness, bloodied and disheveled. A barely conscious specter, he launches into a final soliloquy about becoming cleansed before collapsing on top of the celebration feast for good.

By the time the sun rises over the house the next morning, the rest of the family will be cleansed as well.