Toronto

I actually won tickets to see this at the première, but due to inescapable plans, I was unable to attend and therefore forced to give my tickets away. Oh, how I wish I could have attended that première; it would have saved me the fifteen bunnies I wasted later on two tickets. This was probably the fourth worst movie I've seen this year, after Jeepers Creepers 2, The Core, and Darkness Falls. Yes, this was even worse than Wrong Turn and Gigli. What a pile of $#! + Rodriguez used to be one of my all time favourite directors, having made Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn, and the best one-quarter of Four Rooms. Even Spy Kids wasn't bad. But Once Upon A Time in Mexico is a mess of a movie, an incoherently violent montage of converging, incomprehensible storylines faded in between dreamlike flashbacks (Salma Hayek only exists in the flashbacks, by the way, and you're lucky if she gets five minutes of screen time) and gruesomely dull action scenes. For the second time this year, Johnny Depp's performance adds a good three points to the rating of the film (the other being Pirates of the Caribbean), playing an CIA agent out to use the Mariachi. Other than him, there is just nothing here worth plunking down your hard-earned cash for. This was easily the worst sequel to a great movie, nay, two great movies (El Mariachi was awesome for $7000) As far as I'm concerned, this movie might as well have been all in Spanish. Half the time, I was squinting to read friggin subtitles anyway. Fine, I understand they are in Mexico where people speak Spanish. But then why would they speak any English at all, right? If it's an English movie, they should try to limit the amount of subtitles thrown in. Oh yeah, and Enrique Iglesias can do us all a favour and stay out of the acting biz from now on. Next thing, we'll be seeing Justin Timberlake in a movie. I give it two years.

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