Toronto

I remember walking out of the midnight show of The Phantom Menace 3 years ago raving about how awesome it was. Seeing this movie showed me how deluded I was and what a piece of ever-loving krap Phantom Menace is. Phantom Menace had a wild lightsaber fight and a fun pod race, that's it. Attack Of The Clones has EVERYTHING: a terrific plot (the most complex to date in a Star Wars film) , much better acting and dialogue than Menace, great overall story tie-ins, and hyper-adrenalizing action scenes. I was blown away. I could not believe I was seeing what I was seeing. George Lucas has outdone himself this time, and yes I must give credit to Jonathan Hale too, for co-writng the script. I was worried that I had had too much of the movie ruined for me by reading the occasional review. Believe me, I knew NOTHING. I was in a constant state of shock. You can really sense the impending doom and the rise of the Dark Side here; I was getting chills at a few points. C-3PO and R2D2 are back as the comic relief and are in their Best form ever, having some of the funniest scenes in recent memory. Some very minor complaints and I mean VERY minor, if I wasn't a pathetic Star Wars geek, I wouldn't even mention them: much of the music was lifted right out of Phantom Menace (who cares?!) , it was a TEENY bit slow at one point, just a wee bit, and there was one scene that would have gone down as one of the Best scenes in Star Wars history had it not been a tad too short (and I'm not talking about the Yoda fight, I'm referring to the Sand People scene: this is chilling stuff) Oh yeah, and I found the picture to be a little fuzzy and/or blurry at times, most likely due to Lucas' tantrum-throwing over the theatre industry's reluctance to convert to digital projectors. It is too early to tell right now, but I can see it overthrowing Empire as my favourite Star Wars movie (or any movie for that matter) Simply astounding. Don't listen to the bozos who say it's all special effects and no plot. They must have accidentally watched The Phantom Menace again. Critics are trashing it because they want to gain recognition. It's easier to carve a name for yourself as a critic when you're harsh rather than appreciative. For the record, Roger Ebert gave Clones a thumb down, but gave Menace a thumb up. Maybe he's got a brain tumour now too, I don't know. The Gazette gave Menace 3 and a half stars, but gave Clones 2 stars: John Griffin, ladies and gentleman, a prize specimen of the human race (ripe sarcasm intended!) As for the other people who trashed this flick, you are either A) a grown-up waste of genetic material who can't seem to get it through your head that the reason the new movie may not have the same magic as the original trilogy is that you were a kid when you saw the originals, or B) a snot-nosed punk brought up on the likes of Limp Bizkit and Independance Day, with no appreciation for what is good in this world. Go ahead, see Spider-Man again. I gave it a 9 myself, but after seeing Clones, I feel like going back and dropping my rating on every other movie I've reviewed in the last three years by 2. They just do not compare. This is movie-making. This is fantasy/sci-fi adventure at its peak. This is what Star Wars was meant to be. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to lie down for a while.

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